The Reason

I recently have been listening to These are Days by Natalie Merchant.  I don't listen to music as much as I'd like anymore, but I decided to listen to some songs on my playlist while I was stretching and doing a little yoga the other night.  I listened to this song and nearly cried.  Maybe there were a few tears.  Or it could've been sweat.  Anyway, the song touched me is the point I'm trying to make.   

 

these are days you'll remember
never before and never since, I promise
will the whole world be warm as this
and as you feel it, you'll know it's true
that you are blessed and lucky
it's true, that you are touched by something
that will grow and bloom in you

these are days you'll remember...

these are the days
that you might fill with laughter
until you break

these days you might feel a shaft of light
make its way across your face
and when you do
you'll know how it was meant to be
see the signs and know their meaning

you'll know how it was meant to be
hear the signs and
know they're speaking to you
to you

 

Sigh.  You know?!  Know what I'm saying?  I'm not a very present minded person.  Sulking about the past--feeling regrets--fretting about the future.  Check.  Done and done.  Being present in the moment is my goal.  Finn is 21 months old.  He'll never be 21 months again.  The countless adorable acts he performs every day will surely morph into more cute acts, but these specific acts will go away.  And I WANT to remember them.  There are too many days where I'm going through the motions of the day but am not particularly happy or present.  Finn is so happy and literally squeals with delight throughout the day.  He'll look up at me with a face so pure and full of love and wonder.  He's bursting with joy and zest for life.  He's open and expressive.  Sometimes I wonder how he's mine... He's such an inspiration to me to try to live in the moment and have connections throughout the day.  I can learn a lot from his example. 

He finds joy in just being...