Sick Days

"Your love is bigger than who you are."

"Even when you feel like you're not good enough or you don't deserve it, I still love you."

"If I was an adult, I'd marry you."

"I couldn't have ever imagined a nicer mom.  I think we deserve each other."

"You sure are a hot chick."

These were some of the gems uttered from Finn's mouth this weekend.  

Cuddling with one of his faves

 Last weekend was a lazy one filled with quiet and tender moments.  Finn was sick with strep throat, so we spent our Saturday cuddled up on the couch surrounded by pillows, blankets, water, his stuffed animals, and popsicles (the one source of “nutrition” he had all weekend.)  We had movies, LOTS and lots of movies, which we watched interspersed with reading books and taking naps.  I had the window open for some fresh air.  It was a cool day with faint sunlight, so it wasn’t cold—the light breeze coming in felt invigorating. 

He came in to cuddle Sunday morning and I made him some tea... obviously he loved it.

Not sure which he hated more, the tea or being sick ...

  

I spooned behind him and just breathed him in.  Took all of him in.  I still have such wonder about him.  The jokes he makes, the things that delight him, the stories he tells, his creative imagination, the sound of his voice, how his shoulders shake when he chuckles, his physical expressions, especially how animated his face becomes when he’s telling a story he’s really, liiiike really, excited about and he kind of overemphasizes each word with his mouth and his eyes are big and round with excitement.  Just the actual words he chooses to use, which are so advanced and specific.  

Life changes so fast.  I sometimes think of my life from just a year ago and see how relationships change, circumstances change, goals and desires change.  And I think that’s fine, but I’m grateful for the things that stay.  Some things just stay.  

Laying curled up with my son as he was healing next to me on the couch,  feeling the soft breeze from a pleasant, calm day and having a sense of not needing to be anywhere or doing anything other than exactly what I was doing at that moment…  

So peaceful.  

So comforting.  

Finn being sick was obviously not pleasant and I always feel a rush of errrrmahhhgerd when he’s sick and want to get him better asap, but he had antiobiotics and I knew he’d be feeling better in a day or so.  He was more lethargic at that point and just needed to rest and be comfortable.  He was in and out of sleep all day.  Falling in and out of dreams.  Even though he was sick and that was shitty, I still felt comforted in knowing that he wouldn’t remember that exact feeling of pain a week from now, but he’d remember the feeling of being safe and sound.  Of having his needs met.  Of being enveloped in love.  

It was just a feeling of sweet serenity and I love taking care of him when he’s sick.  Plus, he just looks extra sweet.  He’s rumpled and cuddly and it’s quite irresistible   When I was little, I remember my mom used to say that she wished she could take our pain from us and feel it for us when we were sick and, being the completely selfless child I was, I think I probably said something like, “I wish you could too.”  I use the same line now.  I will tell him I wish I could take his pain so he wouldn’t have to feel it, but he will say, “I wish I could take yours too.  If you took mine, I’d take it back.”  The kid has a good heart.  Better human being than me.  I love being his mom.  

I went into his room and found this on the floor 💗💗💗