Thursday, April 3, 2014

Talking to Strangers

A lot of the time (okay... MOST of the time) I want to avoid other people in public.  Put on my game face and go get shit done so I can return to my peaceful bubble.  That need for a bubble is often unnecessary when I’m with Finn because I have a joy in my heart and connecting with strangers at the park or the store is fine.  I tend to get a lot of smiles and compliments on my little man when I’m out as well, so that helps. 
 
Anyway, I was in Ogden taking some pictures this day.  It was raining very lightly that late morning.  It was a misty, gray day.  I was walking along 25th street, shooting photos as I walked down the sidewalk.  Not many people were out.  A Native American man was standing outside the seediest bar on the street.  I tried to look busy and started fiddling with my camera as I passed and avoided eye contact.  He called out to me:

“Hey, what kind of camera is that?” 

This is usually my cue to feign deafness and speed up, but I caught a look at him.  He had a laid back pose as he leaned his back upon the building and took a drag of his cigarette.  He certainly didn't look predatorial, ready to attack, but rather, casually interested.  He was as cool as they come.  I stopped and told him it was a Nikon.  He asked a couple of questions about the features and I stumbled through some answers, not being an expert in photography, but doing my best to answer.  He explained that he once worked as a photographer when he lived in New Mexico.  I asked if he’d ever taken photos of Santa Fe.  He looked at me with more interest and asked if I knew Santa Fe.  I explained that I’d never been, but that something about the city is really drawing me to it and I want to visit very badly.  He looked a little sad for a minute and grew quiet.  I was about to take my leave and avoid the awkwardness... I didn't owe anything to this stranger, but then he said:

“It’s magical...  Go there.  Take pictures.” 

 I told him I would. 
 
I found myself intrigued with this man.  This man outside a bar at noon in Ogden.  Probably only a handful of regulars in the bar at that time.  I wanted to know more about his life and what events had transpired to bring him to this place and point in life.  He asked:

“Ever notice how much better photos turn out when it’s raining?  It’s kind of like life, isn’t it?” 

I asked what he meant by that.  He looked at me like he was really studying my face.  He said:

“You’re beautiful” and took another drag from his cigarette.  “You have a good soul, I can tell.  Glad to have met you.  You don’t look like the type to stop and talk to someone like me.  So, thank you.  Life’s short.  I regret the times I said ‘no’ more than the times I said ‘yes.’” 

And with that, he stubbed out his cigarette, nodded at me, and walked back into the bar. 
 
Now... this man was clearly three sheets to the wind.  Dah-runk.  However, I felt a warmth in my chest and a calm, good energy as I walked away.  I continued walking down the street and felt very connected.  There were more people on the streets by now and the sun was coming out from the clouds.  I stepped back to observe and felt very present in the moment. I noticed people hurrying by, not really seeing their surroundings.  Many couples walked by with their focus on their phones, rather than each other.  Pressing buttons, rather than holding hands.  I saw a little boy and he saw me and he gave me a big smile.  I smiled back.  I almost felt like an observer, rather than a part of this.  I heard every noise and felt the light on my face.  I felt very light and peaceful that day.  It’s a struggle in life.  That feeling isn’t with me most of the time.  But I’m getting to a point where I can kind of stop the noise and tune in to things more.  I remembered that everyone has their struggles, but that life is good too.  And we can help each other.  This stranger saw something in me and we connected and I felt better having had a moment with him. 
 

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