Getting Real

“Real isn't how you are made,' said the Skin Horse. 'It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.'

'Does it hurt?' asked the Rabbit.

'Sometimes,' said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. 'When you are Real you don't mind being hurt.'

'Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,' he asked, 'or bit by bit?'

'It doesn't happen all at once,' said the Skin Horse. 'You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand.”

― Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit

 

 

I have some great friends.  They truly help me throughout the day.  I've come to view work as a bit of an opportunity for therapy--with my FRIENDS... not just chilling at the water cooler complaining about my failed diet plan and how men aren't worth the trouble.  Only the friends who have earned the right to hear my stories and whom I trust explicitly.  I try to give to them as much as I receive, but some days it tips haphazardly to me draining their cup. 

 

I've been studying vulnerability like it's my job.

 

And it kind of is.

 

If I want to lead an authentic, genuine, loving life.  But... it's scurry.

 

Vulnerability is the path to true connections with people, but it takes getting past shame and fear to get there.  It's not something I can put on my to-do list and check off.  It's a daily practice.  And I know when I'm not practicing it because I can feel myself shrinking and trying to be small and polite and agreeing with the crowd.  I don't need to force myself to stand out at every opportunity, but there are those moments where you know you're hiding your spirit and it just doesn't feel RIGHT.  I don't need to hand out pamphlets on how I'm different and unique, but there are so many times when I FEEL the effects of, "why didn't I say..." or "I wish I had done this instead of..."

 

It takes courage to be vulnerable.  I know a lot of people consider it a weakness.  It's not.  For example, how is going in for a kiss weak?  How is bringing up a difficult subject weak?  How is sending your children out into an unstable world every day weak?  We just do it because it's worth it.  It's a million times better than the alternative. 

 

The process of becoming real is daunting.  But It's so much easier to do so when we know we're loved.  And to start with the people we know will support us through it.