Red

“Red hair, sir, in my opinion, is dangerous.”
― P.G. Wodehouse

I grew up reading Archie comic books. They're not funny.  Nevertheless, I found them wildly entertaining. Betty, Veronica, Archie, and the whole gang. Reggie refers to Archie as a “carrot top.” I hated Reggie. Somehow this felt like the worst insult that could be inflicted on someone with red hair. I feared—FEARED—that at some point in my life someone would call me a “carrot top” and I didn’t know how I would handle such a slight.

 

Then

It

Happened.

 

It happened in the 6^th grade. I thought I was out of the woods when it came to that dreadful insult. It was a regular day with me looking for an excuse to leave class so I asked to borrow the hallpass.  As I was wandering the halls I ran into a boy named Jordan.  We were the only two in the hallway.    Jordan was one of those boys who was kind of a fixture in my class pictures--always in my class, but I never paid attention to him.  But he was bold this day and, as I passed, he said, “Hey carrot top!”

 

I felt like I’d been cut off at the knees.

 

In one of the worst comebacks in history I recanted with:

“Hey potato hair!”

He happened to have thee whitest, blond hair I’d ever seen and I felt like the proper response was to make a vegetable comparison. I also believed by making such a remark that he’d see how stupid his comment was. He literally had no comeback so I sort of flipped my hair and went back to class feeling… sort of triumphant and almost glad that he'd said that to me. This thing I’d feared so long had finally taken place and it wasn’t so bad. In fact, I was ready for it. How often does one get the chance to say, “Hey potato hair” and feel good about it? Once in a lifetime.
 

The whole redhead thing brings up a lot of stereotypes. Fiery temper, feisty, mysterious, and others I shan’t mention here. Some flattering, some not. Of course, any intelligent person knows that stereotypes come from fear of something we don’t understand. Red hair is rare and it’s become a sort of different race. I don’t see many potato hairs around either. Mostly brown hairs. Different shades of brown hairs out there.

I was listening to a beloved podcast and one of the hosts has often mentioned that he loves “a good red.” Not speaking of wine. He mentioned a couple of actresses he wouldn’t mind getting to know. I’m terrible at accepting compliments. Even mentioning a compliment not directed at me personally makes me uncomfortable, but it definitely brought forth a giggle when he said:

 

I love a red. They’re like a heightened kind of person. I elevate them, I put them above other people... Look, reds, you’re a little better than us… don’t get a big head about it. –Howard Kremer
 

I burst out laughing.  My coworker asked what was so funny and I couldn’t tell her.  I just said that the podcast I was listening to was funny. This coworker is always very sweet and compliments me  throughout the week, but I worried that it would sound like bragging. And then I’d seem arrogant or… on the opposite side of the spectrum… insecure, thus, needing to boost myself with compliments.

 

 

Last summer I was with a friend at Café Rio when a man walked by and said, “Beautiful. Beautiful redhead.” I’m sure I cast my eyes down and thanked him. Later, kind of without thinking, I said to my friend

That was really nice what that guy said.
 

What did he say?
 

You know… the thing... about my hair.
 

Oh, that thing about you being gorgeous? It wasn’t nice, it’s just true.

 

And... in true fashion... I quickly thanked her and changed the subject.  Diversion tactics have always been a trick/friend/crutch for me.  So, the trick is to learn how to graciously accept compliments without embarassment or diverting attention away from the compliment.  The most common compliment toward me is about my hair and/or comparing me to certain actresses.  I do appreciate compliments, but I want to not feel flustered or unsure of how to  handle myself.  Is a simple "thank you" enough?